26)

After I quit playing video games, I knew that something had to immediately fill that hole or else I would be driven right back to them. At first I filled the vacancy with all my music: piano, composition, listening, and reading. As I am still on this journey of soberness I have found that my music is leaning heavily on my composition. I've spent the last month prepping my mind and musical facility for what I believe to be this moment.
I have begun to work on a score for small ensemble. I'm not hoping for other movements, but I am hoping for a lengthy work. The first goal for this project is that I can harmonically justify using 12-tone serialism within a work. The second goal for this project is that I can superimpose my emotions continually into this music. I have tried this before but every time I am left unsatisfied. I go into this work with 2 quotes by my side: "Communicate experiences in singular intensity." and "An arrangement of objects in space."
I have given my self one month before the ensemble will come together and realize these ideas. This is longer than I have typically given myself, and I hope that the time given will produce the ideas desired. I am scared that this will fall on its' face. I am hopeful that this might be my first real composition.

Futhon