48)

I am finding that I am opening my ears to much. Yes, it is good to open your ears to hear the world around you. Yes, it is good to listen to thousands of recordings over and over again. Yes, it is good to listen to your fellow man's needs and desires. However to open up your ears (which means closing one's mouth) will eventually lead to an inability to open your mouth. Your ears will be so full of other people you will begin to lose the ability to hear yourself. If you try to open your mouth people will wonder why you even spoke at all.

I have encountered this twice within these last two days. I listened to these people, but I listened to closely. Their ears were not as inclined to hear my questions, answers, or comments and I encountered reproof and correction where I expected love and gratitude as I had given.

On the same subject but from a different angle, most of the people I have encountered here, that have developed socially, mentally, and spiritually here, have long wind. They talk way to much. I will ask a question and receive 7 or 8 answers from one person. Typically 1 answer does the job. I feel this is a spin off of how we are taught and grown here. We are taught by straight lecture, with few moments for interjection, comments, or questions. As a result when we engage outside of a classroom setting, we talk as if we where in charge of the classroom, winging around our intellect as if it where the most important thing in the world. Unfortunately I haven't encountered to many that I would put in high esteem.

I wish people would settle down and think before the speak. I wish they would think about what they want to say last before the begin with what they are saying. I wish they would talk quieter and only in short spouts.

People might be less confused.

Futhon

47)

Words are to great to be spoken without purpose. The majority of what I say could be erased from history without many people noticing. That's why I write music. I have a way with words that seems to make them disappear right before my eyes. I will say something, then the next second I realize I just dug a hole. I had spoken the wrong word. But I feel compelled to continue with the words I have spoken, in hopes that I may understand what my brain was trying to say. Usually this doesn't end anywhere pleasant.

I'm sick of having to change.

Futhon

46)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=muAvbz-AHa0

I was just wanting to relax and listen. This melody isn't leaving me. haha. My day has gotten better because people made this music possible to be heard again and again.

Relax. Listen.

Futhon

45)

It was incredibly weird to walk out of the printers with a full manuscript of Dedication to Signal. The feeling of accomplishing such a big work was soothing. I feel like I can finally relax for a few hours. Pleasure to my senses, A weight off my mind. Performance comes soon.

Need some food and relaxation.

Futhon

44)

Remembering what we could have been is something that will only push us forward. Not only does it show us more clearly the path we are currently on, it also helps us stay firmly on that path. I am young and already I have made many decisions that keep me moving forward. If you are reading this blog I guarantee you are older than me and as a result can think of many more such instances of progression. Don't loose heart. There is always tomorrow.

More editing on Dedication to Signal tomorrow. Hopefully will get the first (rough draft of the) full score done. Excited to finish this project that began at Christmas. 6 months have lead to a very shaky first draft of this "Symphony Suite". Glad to finally move on.

Bed soon.

Futhon

43)

Currently listening to the last movement of Hindson's Violin Conerto, 6.5 minutes.

http://www.last.fm/music/Lara+St.+John/Hindson%3A+Violin+Concerto+-+Corigliano%3A+Suite+from+The+Red+Violin+-+Liszt%3A+Totentanz/Violin+Concerto%3A+Grand+Final+Day

I think I have shaken my head about every 10 seconds of this piece. I am blown away by how good the orchestration and melodic use is.

If you want to feel better about your day, listen to this.

On the down side, my finger hurts.

Futhon

42)

Tea and Granola for breakfast.

Currently trying to finish up a Suite Symphony called "Dedication to Signal". A very interesting work that has stretched much of my writing. Hoping to get at least half of it recorded. (Keep dropping granola into my lap but can't find it) This work is based on 12 tone serialism, but within a acceptable tonal landscape.
The work is a reminder to watch for signs, good or bad. If we keep our heads buried in the sand we will never know what is right or wrong. If we keep our heads above the sand they start to blur together. A middle road must be found. This Suite is a reminder to watch others, so you can see what is coming and decide if it is right or wrong.

Futhon